28) We’re Having F*cking Fun! Damnit.

Work in the basement slowed after the demo was done. David focused his attention on a second bathroom, a half bath in the North tower’s ground floor.

You had thought that maybe that wasn’t the best plan of action, that if a half bath was going to be built, that he should have instead focused on the existing half bath in the basement. All that one needed was a new toilet and part of a very small floor section replaced. Everything else was good to go, whereas the North tower was going to be a full build out, walls, doors, lights, sink, toilet; all the plumbing… it was a ton of work and you already had so much to do downstairs. Plus you had said, on account of all the work that was still needed in the basement, the kids probably wouldn’t get down there until wintertime in which case it made more sense for the bathroom in the basement to be finished first. David disagreed.

You both went back and forth a bit (maybe even a little piss-y with each other) but in the end, the builder had the final word. “You mean to tell me that you’re going to be able to do a full build out in this bathroom quicker than you can fix the floor and put in a toilet downstairs?”

“It’s non negotiable Vanessa.”

“I think you’re making a mistake. I think it makes absolutely no sense to have the bathroom upstairs completely built out vs just fixing this one down here.”

“It’s not going to take me long to frame out the space and get drywall up. I can have that done quickly…”

“David! There’s no fucking heat up here and you want to put in plumbing now with the winter just about here? This makes no sense at all. We haven’t even found the doors yet!”

He purses his lips and squeezes them tightly. “Because we need another bathroom! I can’t take having one bathroom anymore and this is going to be quick. The pipes have been in those walls for more than a decade with no insulation or heat with zero issue, and I’m going to be putting efficient baseboard heaters in there, building the walls six inches thick vs four and adding extra insulation… so if nothing froze before nothing is going to freeze after that! I’ll have this framed in a day. I can put up the drywall in another day and get the plumber back out soon thereafter.”

“You think that this is seriously going to be done in a few days?!”

“Vanessa! I’m putting in the bathroom in the North tower and that’s it.”

And because you weren’t about to frame out and drywall a bathroom or put in a new floor or toilet. That WAS that.

The basement still needed joists and jacks and leveling. David had crawled under the church and placed several jacks before realizing that a dozen were not going to be nearly enough, he’d have to order more. Until they came in, there wasn’t much else that could be done aside from working to mop the massive space… almost 2000 square feet of flooring had to be cleaned before you could put down the floor paint. This was an absolutely painstaking process on account of not only the sheer size of the space, but the fact that there was a layer of dirt and dust that never fully came up. There was so much grime in fact that it took multiple washings to get the floor somewhat clean. Each full mopping, a single pass over the whole space took quite a bit of time. Neither one of you was ever able to do it in under two hours. Both of you were shocked by how sore you’d be the next day after a basement mopping. Your shoulder was not getting any better. David’s back was not at its best.

Then there was Thanksgiving. That further slowed all work. No basement work, no bathroom work, just you cleaning and David cooking. It was strange to have your first Thanksgiving ever without any family outside of your immediate one. You and David had decided to take the time to start new traditions, though you couldn’t really figure out what those should be… Basically David came up with everyone choosing their own dishes instead of the usual Thanksgiving fare. Fuck it… you had a lobster, you figured you had earned it: Happy Thanksgiving. The kids were far easier (and cheaper) with hotdogs, macaroni and cheese, squash, potatoes. In the end, even with free rein though, aside from the lobster and hotdogs the meal remained pretty traditional. You’d have to work on the ‘new traditions’ for the next time. For now, the lobster and hotdogs were going to have to make up for a very small get together.

After Thanksgiving dinner you helped David clean, the kids had run upstairs to the sanctuary to play on their Playstation. “Did you see the weather?” David asked as he rinsed pots and pans in the overflowing commercial sink.

“No why?” You asked. The joke at this point was that if you wanted a trustworthy weather forecast in the Northeast, that you should just stick your head out the window. You had stopped checking the Weather Channel app after the last significant snow forecast bust. There had been so many at this point. As far as you were concerned you’d get the snow when you got the snow and when that was? Well apparently no one including the meteorologists, really knew with any type of reliable certainty. Florida must have been such an easy place to forecast the weather you both had joked, “Well today it’s going to be hot (as fuck again) with a chance of thunderstorms in the afternoon… keep it tuned in to WTBS 13 for your latest updates (on just how fucking hot it still is) at the 5:00 hour! We’ve got your most accurate forecast right here…”

They were never wrong. Hurricanes however seemed to be another animal altogether.

“We’re supposed to get up to eight inches of snow tonight going into Saturday.”

“Really?!” You had been waiting for this. So far you had gotten one snow and although there was accumulation, it was hardly enough to go sledding, slender and surprisingly green tendrils of grass poked out of the snow, as if the very last of autumn was trying to stay afloat before finally sinking fully into winter. “We’re gonna be able to take the kids sledding!”

“Yes! It’s supposed to be starting in a few hours, that would be great if we woke up to eight inches tomorrow.”

“That’s what she said.”

David rolled his eyes and snickered at the lame joke.

“But for real,” you said… “that would be amazing!” Then you worried what if you got snowed in tomorrow and the kids still didn’t have their sleds or winter boots? You had ordered boots and waterproof gloves and snowpants two weeks ago and nothing was in yet. “The kids don’t have any of their snow stuff or sleds yet…”

David’s eyes widen… “Oh… well… do you think we should grab the sleds tonight with the snow coming and trying to avoid Black Friday crowds tomorrow?”

“Kind of. It will be fun though. Honestly I’m excited to bring the kids to get their first sleds! Do you want to come too.”

“I do… but look at this mess… If I go too we’re going to be cleaning till probably close to midnight.”

“You’re probably right. Ok well then I’m going to go now… I’m going to tell the kids that we’re taking a special trip… for a big surprise… and they will be SO. EXCITED!”

***********************************************

“That’s the surprise?” Your oldest groans.

They were not excited. No one was excited. Aside from your youngest who was always excited to do anything with you so this hardly even counted.

“You’re not excited to go get your first sleds?!” You say, trying to hide your disappointment and drum up some enthusiasm.

“Not really. I wanted to stay and play video games.”

“Me too,” says your middle child, the nine year old. “I don’t really want to go.”

“I do mommy, I do!” Says your youngest. “I want to go!”

You see your two eldest rolling their eyes. They weren’t aware of the term ‘kiss ass’ for a reason, they would have whispered that under their breath (as older brothers do) and you were trying your best to avoid that drama, but they most definitely had the eye rolling game on lock down. Your youngest turned to scowl at the two of them, “Mommy, my brothers are being mean!” She could definitely hold her own.

“Could ya’ll please just stop! Come on, let’s go get our sleds, it’s going to be so fun!”

You could see her reflection in the dark window, she stuck her tongue out at her brothers and they returned the gesture.

*********************************************

“Are we supposed to be having fun yet?” The four of you were walking through Walmart one of the only stores in town and it was surprisingly busy for Thanksgiving evening, though what did you know, you hated shopping this time of year, really any time of year… you hated the commercialism of the holidays, all of the “BIG SALE! BUY NOW, SIX MONTHS INTEREST FREE, PAY LATER! BUY, BUY, BUY!” It was cold outside and even in the church, you were bundled up tightly but now in Walmart with three kids getting on your last nerve, you had started pouring sweat somewhere back in the produce section. You ignored your middle child and even your oldest pushing past him, purposely shoulder checking him into a clothing rack and trying not to laugh. Your middle child swung around, clenching his teeth, mouthing, ‘cut it out!’ And pushed his brother across the aisle.

“Boys! I swear to god,” Your teeth were clenched as you swung around to reprimand them. “Cut. It. Out,” you growled.

“We don’t want to be here!” The boys whined.

“You know, we’re supposed to be getting sleds and having fun!”

“I want to go get a sled Mommy! I’m having fun.” Your youngest grabbed your hand. You think that she’s probably the only one out of the four of you at this point.

Your middle child is in some kind of mood and you see him turn to his brother to mock mimic his sister, “I want to go mommy!” He says in a baby voice just quietly enough for you to barely here. You were picking and choosing your battles, your youngest didn’t hear a thing and so you just ignored it.

When you finally found the sleds the boys grabbed the first ones they saw and quickly turned to walk back to the registers across the store, “Hey wait… we still need to check to see if the snowpants are in. You’re going to need them, they didn’t have them last time I came here, but I think I saw them when we walked in.”

“OH. COME. ON!” Your oldest stomps his foot.

“Are you freaking serious right now? I’ll just wear my regular pants!” Says your middle child.

“Guys… I’m telling you… stop giving me a hard time. Let’s just get the snow pants and get out of here.”

“This was supposed to be a fun surprise!” Your middle child grumbles.

“More like: this surprise sucks!” Your oldest whispered to his brother. They both laughed.

“You know what?” You had had it, between the two boys pushing each other, too many layers making you sweat profusely, the crowd, the overall attitude, you have chosen your battle and you took up your battle call, “Your attitudes suck! I’m trying to do something fun with you guys and you’re not making this fun at all!”

“Same.” You swore you heard your middle grumble.

“What’s that?!”

“Nothing. I didn’t say anything!”

“If I have to speak to you guys again we’re just going to put everything down and walk out right now without our sleds!”

“Works for me!” Said your oldest tossing his sled back into the bin.

“Me too!” Said your middle.

“Mommy but I WANT to get my sled and snow pants.”

“Come on mom, let’s go,” your oldest has already got the teenage attitude coursing through his veins. In all fairness the three of them are incredibly good kids, they missed their cousins and grandparents and got hopped up on sugar and video games and you had totally miscalculated this whole thing, you thought for sure that the snow and sledding would excite them and unfortunately you could not have been more wrong.

“You know what!? No, that’s ridiculous… I see what you’re doing… and that’s not how we’re doing this, we already have the damn sleds and the fucking snow pants and the two of you are going to cut the crap so we can get the hell out of here,” you bent over to quietly reprimand them through tightly clenched teeth.

Years ago there had been a magazine cover that had come out of Princess Kate leaning over as all mothers apparently even royalty do, when they’ve had enough of their kids’ bullshit and they growl through their clenched jaw some form of, “you better stop it right now!”

You doubted she had said ‘damn, ‘fucking,’ ‘crap,’ or ‘hell’ but that was the nice thing about not being a princess, because you could and no one would pick apart what they thought you were saying or had said and debating if you were fit to mother children (hah!), you could just let it rip and you did.

It was a good hour before you had grabbed the sleds and the snowpants and the waterproof gloves and the boots at the shoe store a few stores down. There had been such a stink about having to go to a second store on account of Walmart not having the right size boots. The boys slinked through the aisles walk-chasing their sister, pushing each other into racks while you glared down the aisles at them whenever they were in eyeshot. They didn’t care. They were never like this. You were pouring sweat by the time you cashed out.

“Finally!” The boys said as the four of you got into the car and slammed the doors.

“You know, that was a lot of bullshit in there… I don’t know what all that was about but we don’t act like that in the store… pushing each other and the frickin attitudes. We were supposed to have fun!”

“Pffffft…. That’s your idea of fun?!” Grumbles your middle child, “Walmart?!”

“Video games are fun. Walmart sucks.” Quips your oldest.

“Mommy I had fun,” your youngest chimes in from the back.

“Good. I’m glad someone here had fun.”

“We could have just stayed home and actually had fun!” Said your oldest.

“Well this was supposed to be a good fucking time and -“

“It wasn’t.” Said your oldest.

You were done. You let it slide. They were tired. They missed their family, it had been a nice day but a long day and a little emotional for the three of them as the sugar began to wear off and the day waned on.

No one said a thing the rest of the ride home.

*******************************************

Two days later when the snow finally did come and everyone woke up to a soft blue white blanket that covered the town in several inches of snow, autumn unofficially relieved of its duties, everyone clambered to put on gloves and ski pants and boots and coats and grab their sleds after eating a hearty breakfast David had made. You all ate fluffy raspberry pancakes drizzled in local maple syrup, some of the best pancakes and syrup you had ever had. The kids sipped hot chocolate, a special breakfast treat and you and David filled your large thermoses with hot tea, topped off with splashes of eggnog.

Surprisingly the five of you were the only ones at the park. You and your husband wondered as the kids ran ahead if there was another park that the other kids in town went sledding at or if everyone just didn’t give a shit about snow and all the kids would just rather play video games inside. You hoped that everyone was at another park with a bigger hill. You remembered when you were a kid and you’d run across the street to your best friend’s house to see if she could come outside and play and the two of you would sled for hours with your siblings and the other neighborhood kids. Now? No one knocked on doors anymore it seemed. Much to your disappointment you were beginning to realize that play was no longer spontaneous: the parents texted each other and arranged the plans. Not to get nostalgic but you sure missed those analog days.

Your youngest took the first ride down the hill on your lap. Everyone was vying for a chance to ride down the hill squeezed into their sled with you. It wasn’t easy to fit more than one of you in the sled and it got a bit more difficult to squeeze into the cheap little plastic Walmart sleds with each successive child, your oldest nearly as tall as you and just twenty pounds smaller… none of the kids seemed to mind…

The last few days hadn’t been the best:

You and David had been a bit at odds over the bathroom, it was framed out as he said it would be, and even though nothing else had been touched, the two of you had moved on from the disagreement.

Thanksgiving had been a bit melancholy without all of your family and friends…

… and ‘the fun surprise’ had proved to not be fun at all… bad even…

But this? The five of you took turns on the three sleds, the kids rolled out and landed headfirst into the blanketed hill, their first time ever seeing this much snow, their first time sledding, everyone was laughing, snowballs flew under an overcast sky of swirling snow…

…this…

…this was fucking fun.

The kids woke up to their first real snow! The view from the primary bedroom.

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