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Tit For Tat: An Unfiltered Energy Match


I know… it wasn’t a big deal, but when my friend (we’ll call him ‘Kurt’) started ripping on the stuff, saying how disgusting the commercials were. That he hated everything about them and the founder’s voice and the product… I just had to interject because…


Incoming toxic trait in 3… 2… 1…


I love the stuff and I will die on the hill of any product that does what it says it will and then some and my friends… Lume - The WHOLE Body - Deodorant is amazing.


So when Kurt was done ripping on it I just HAD to interject.


You see as someone who often has 12+ hour days in 90+ degree temps, setting up and tearing down hundreds of pounds of inventory and equipment, and having to smell somewhat palatable enough to be in a close contained tent structure with strangers during those eight plus hours in-between… I feel like I’ve got some street cred when I say that the stuff works.


I listened to Kurt go on then said, “Oh come on… I LOVE Lume! My other deodorant stopped doing its thing when I was outside all day doing shows and the Lume actually really works…”


But before Kurt could say a thing though… his friend, someone that I had never met before decided to start ripping on me.


While the remarks weren’t anything horrific (I’ve had worse tossed in my direction lol) the ‘jokes’ were uncalled for enough, that after several minutes of talking shit, Kurt felt the need to call off his friend…


“Oh come on man… I know Vanessa… I hardly think that she of all people stinks…”


But that was ridiculous. I’m human. And I got the fuck’ing deodorant because I WAS IN FACT stinking in the 90+ degree heat lol. Full stop: I had indeed smelled like a dumpster. No bueno. The issue here wasn’t me stinking though… the issue was that this guy was being a jerk.


I wasn’t going to say a thing. I was raised, “Ignore it. Turn the other cheek.” Which is a really, really hard habit to give up… even when it never worked, even when it only made me more of a target in situations, even when it made me take shit I should have never taken… even when it made me and continues to make me doubt myself...


But I also didn’t need Kurt’s ridiculous “Vanessa doesn’t stink…” comment, so in that moment I decided that I would just handle this my way and not the ‘be demure and ignore it’ way, I was taught…


So I laughed with Kurt’s friend at my own expense, and when he was done laughing I cleared my throat, smiled real big, and instead of ignoring… decided to match energy,

“You know maybe YOU should give Lume a try since it works so great on assholes.”


DEAD SILENCE. Kurt: His friend: Me: Dead silence.


And then the absolute strangest thing happened.


I straight up called that man an asshole and he laughed.


And I don’t just mean a chuckle, I mean he belly fucking laughed, eyes tearing… Kurt flabbergasted, joined in… and when Kurt’s friend could finally compose himself, he apologized sincerely and later on that day sent me a friend request on social media… and…. You’re not going to fucking believe this one…


…..he told me via messenger that he had looked into Lume and wanted to know which scent I would recommend.


I told him that I love their ‘Clean Tangerine’ antiperspirant cream.


Anyway…


There’s something to be said about having your own back.


And a good sense of humor.


(And maybe a good therapist too).


Oh yeah… And Lume: if you need a brand ambassador… call me… I’ve got ideas. xoxo




Digital Collage / Reference: “Office Party”











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