51) Heavy Lifting*

“Can I show you something?” David wanted to know.

You were sitting in your recliner, the little one that you had bought for your shoulder surgery recovery. The one that David wanted to know how you planned on getting upstairs. You had shrugged. “I hadn’t given that much thought… figured you’d figure it out…”

And he had. He had carried it upstairs.

“Sure, just give me a couple of minutes, ok?” You said.

“Yup.”

Quietly he closed the door behind him as he stepped back out of the bedroom.

First you lifted your right foot out of the large crystal bowl you kept, when not in use on top of the buffet in the bathroom. The one you decided would be best kept to use as an Epson salt foot bath. Which it had. Your feet fit perfectly. Paired with some relaxing salts, peppermint oil, and hot water, the crystal bowl was a simple thrifted luxury that made you smile whenever you looked its way.

You dried your foot off on the towel under the bowl that you’d placed in front of the recliner you had found and bought on Marketplace. Then you lifted your left foot out of the little tub and gently wiggled your toes and shook your foot, little beadlets of long cooled, salty peppermint water fell back into the cloudy water. Your feet felt cool to the touch (thanks to the peppermint oil) and blissfully soft.

You toweled your left foot off then pushed the bowl and towel to the side using your feet, before slipping your waiting sandals back on and begrudgingly dragging yourself back to reality.

You dipped an old pitcher into the crystal bowl on the floor, scooping half the water out before walking into the bathroom to dump the cloudy foot soak water into the concrete sink basin.

“It doesn’t fit.” David was sitting in your recliner.

“Oh my god, you’re trying to put your feet in my old foot soak water bowl!!!?”

“What? No!”

You looked down to see David still wearing his shoes, the crystal bowl off to the side…

“So what doesn’t fit?”

“The windows won’t fit,” he said as he fluidly stood up and kicked the recliner’s foot rest closed. “Come here… I want to show you.”

“Great… just great…”

“So I was going to surprise you and start on the windows,” David said as he opened the bedroom door and walked out into the reading room with you… Lying on the floor in front of him was one of the four massive replacement windows that you had bought for the belfry bedroom, “so I brought this one up here…”

“Oh wow… you got that up here by yourself?” You interrupted.

“I did.”

“How did you do that…?”

“I picked it up and carried it up here. What do you mean, ‘how did I do that?’ I just picked it up.”

“Right,” you rolled your eyes… “I just mean that they’re so heavy… I didn’t realize that they could be lifted by one person.”

“It wasn’t easy… if that’s what you were wondering… Any way… I carried this thing up here then tried to get it up the stairs,” he said pausing to pick up the large window again, he bent over and lifted from his legs, a steady stream of air leaving his lungs as he pulled the massive window off the ground.

This time his voice was strained as he carefully made his way to the now, obviously too narrow staircase that ascended up to the belfry bedroom, “and then I turned it like this,” he said, turning the large mirror, “and I tried to pull it up this way… but as you can see…”

“It doesn’t fit…”

“Right. It doesn’t fit. But then I thought that maybe if I swung it this way, that it could possibly fit…” David swung the window around to no avail… “As you can see though, it still…”

“Doesn’t fit.”

“Yup. So THEN I thought, ‘well maybe if I turned it this way,’ that we could manage to get it up the stairs but…” he said demonstrating another turn of the window, this time a 90 degree rotation…

“As you can see…”

“It still doesn’t fit.”

“Exactly!”

“I don’t like this game.”

“Neither do I. Especially when I’m playing with the heavy window.” David readjusted the window’s heft before bringing it back to rest on the floor where the whole ‘does it fit’ charade had begun. “So then I thought that maybe I could use this board that just happens to be the same height and thickness of the window…” You had wondered what the board on the floor was doing next to the window when the ‘show and tell’ began.

“That’s clever…”

“Isn’t it though? Every once in a while I get a great idea…”

“You do…. That was a good idea…”

“So yeah I took this board because it’s a lot lighter and easier to manage than the window and I figured that I could try to get the board up the stairs this way… lifting it over the handrail like this…” he said as he pushed the board over the rail and all the way to the stair well’s ceiling where it stopped just four inches short of clearance. “As you can see though…”

“The board… errr… window is too long isn’t it?”

“It is. I’m not removing the hand rail either Vaness. I have no idea how we would even…”

“No I think that would be a foul on our part. What about the planks in the stairwell ceiling? Could we temporarily remove those pieces of wood and…”

“Absolutely not…”

“Ok I figured… I mean we’re just brainstorming ideas here right?”

“We need to rent the lift, Vaness.”

“Fuck. Ok… well I guess if that’s the only way… then it is what it is. So now when are you getting the lift out here?“

“2027. 2028? Not too sure yet.”

“Real funny… when is the lift being rented?”

“I got to look at the weather forecast and talk to the neighbor (that was going to help him for a few hours) to see when he can give me a hand. Then I’ll rent it and we can get these windows in.”

“Good. Now what?”

“Now I have to carry this fucking window back downstairs.”

“I don’t care if you leave it up here so you don’t have to move it again. It’s really heavy….”

David laughed, “And exactly how would I get it onto the lift from up here?”

“Hahahaha, you couldn’t, could you?”

“Right. I can not.”

David bent over and lifted from his knees, again expelling the contents of his lungs in strained exertion as he picked the almost seven foot by three foot wide window up off the ground.

“You sure are strong…”

“TTTTTTTHHHHHHAAAAAAAANNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSS,” He strained as he did his best to keep the window steady down the stairs.

Slowly he managed to wrangle the unwieldy window down the staircase, around the bend in his office and into the sanctuary where he carefully lowered it back onto the three other, neatly stacked windows. When the window was safely back on the stack he wiped his brow, drying it of the beads of perspiration beginning to glisten along his hairline.

“Welp… looks like I’m all done working for the day, guess that was my contribution… all done now.”

You both laughed, “Maybe though, since you’re already all sweaty and gross you can help me lift some shit into the storage room…”

David’s shoulders sunk, “What am I carrying, Vaness?”

******************************************************

The lift had been ordered the following day and it was scheduled to be delivered in three more days. The neighbor’s work schedule had been confirmed, the weather had been checked, and all that was left to do now, was wait for the 16 ton behemoth to be brought to the church.

There was always an air of both excitement and worry whenever the lift was scheduled. Excitement at the prospect of checking some big items off the ‘to do’ list… and fear that something really big could also go wrong.

The first lift rental experience David had almost plummeted off the roof to his death. During the second lift rental the lift managed to bust through the asphalt on the south side of the building, leaving a gaping gap in the narrow strip of pavement. The third time the lift was brought in it sunk, crashed into the church, managed to tear up the entire dry river bed you had so painstakingly crafted, then plowed through the brand new fence.

What laid in store for round four? You shuddered to conjure up a fitting ‘what will go wrong this time?’

That night you lost your temper. Sort of. You were half joking and not necessarily mad, though you promised when he called you out, that you WOULD be really fucking pissed if he didn’t fulfill his end of the bargain.

“Now I know that I’ve been lax since your fall gear failed… but I mean it David… I fucking mean it, don't be an asshole here…”

“Woah!” He laughed, “We’re name calling now?”

You were both laughing but there was definitely some sincerity on your end, “Yes. Yes I am. Because it’s an asshole move not to wear fall protection when you’re 65’ off the ground and you’ve got a family waiting for you down below. Not only is it an asshole move, it’s a real dick move too. It’s also REALLY fucking stupid. I could probably come up with some more fiery descriptors if you’d like me to continue… or you can just get the fall gear and wear it like you swore to me you would if we bought this church… that was my line in the sand, dear. And quite frankly demanding that my husband be safe when he’s almost seven stories off the ground doesn’t really feel like nagging… just saying.”

“You almost fall off one roof to your early death and suddenly everybody’s a critic…” David laughed.

“Well then call me Siskel and Ebert. Get the fucking fall protection!”

“Ironically… Siskel is dead… and I’m not.”

“Because you’re going to wear the fall protection.”

***************************************************************

That morning’s itinerary included David getting two sets of fall protection harnesses, one for himself and the other for the neighbor helping him. He pulled the old windows out of the belfry room which came out far more easily than either one of you were expecting. The old windows came out in two separate pieces, the frames took a lot more work.

The belfry bedroom looked drastically different with the old windows gone. The room felt far larger without the old glass pains with cracks and cloudy calcification from decades of water damage. The too small curtain panels hung too high, or not high enough, depending on how you wanted to look at it, were next on your list of things to remove. The four large panels were rustled by the wind, two were blown outside of the church, listing in the breeze. The four empty holes with the curtains flapping outside felt apocalyptic and sent your stomach spiraling.

You just kept reminding yourself that David had in fact, bought the fall protection.

“You know it really doesn’t matter too much…”

“What’s that?” You had wanted to know.

“The fall protection. If I go out these windows here,” David had said getting dangerously close to the windowless hole, “I’d be dead before I even hit the ground… fried to a crisp… the fall gear would just keep things a lot less messy for you.” David laughed as he leaned out the open window and pointed to the three high voltage power lines right outside.

“For fuck’s sake, can you not lean out the window? I’m going to puke if you do that…”

You had to turn your head away.

David found that funny.

The plan for the day was that David was waiting on the lift and that once it came the neighbor was going to help him get the old windows outside, the new ones upstairs on the bed, and if there was time, the sanctuary windows up onto the 18’ scaffolding. With the rest of the lift time, David planned on tackling the infamous sanctuary roof leak. The two of you decided that even though you hadn’t been planning on the lift rental at this juncture, that maybe it was a blessing in disguise… a gift from the universe, and that you could take that lift opportunity to finally get the leak fixed. You had a plan of attack formulated and now the means to hopefully… fourth time’s a charm you’d hoped….. an end.

That day David and the neighbor got everything done but get the sanctuary windows up onto the scaffolding (the lift had been late and the neighbor had to leave for work). When the neighbor left David went up onto the roof, utilizing another neighbor’s driveway (the only way to access the leak area) and did his best to fix the leak. You were running out of ideas for the sanctuary leak. This was your last idea.

When the patchwork was done David hefted a massive trash pail over 60’ up onto the roofline and dumped it over the leaky area. You were both very hopeful when the bucket in the sanctuary remained dry.

After dinner David went upstairs and began putting the new windows into place. By 8:30pm he had the first of four installed. It not only looked wonderful but you were amazed that you no longer had to struggle with all of your might and both your hands to lift the sash, a simple pull with your dominant arm and the window simply glided into place.

“You know you don’t have to do the rest of these tonight… you had a long day and you’re going to be up all night trying to get these things in… maybe this isn’t a good time to work on this, when you’re tired after a long day…”

“And then what? Tomorrow I can get a colony of bats out AND put windows in? Nah. I’m getting these in tonight.”

You couldn’t sleep. All you could picture was David falling out of the window and no one there to know any better with everyone in the household sleeping. You pictured waking up in an empty bed and running outside to find him dangling precariously, covered in morning dew and pigeon shit, on the side of the church, “How nice of you to join me…” you pictured this fictitious dangling version of your husband greeting you.

So you told him that you were going to stay up until he was done.

And you did. You couldn’t stay in the room, it made you nervous to watch him hang out the gaping window holes while he leveled boards and got everything even and square. But when he finished up at 1:47am you were there to help him celebrate.

The new windows looked incredible. Crystal clear glass… no giant cracked pain. No calcified buildup obscuring the beautiful view. No more plastic frames cracking under the weight of their own shoddy build and decades of neglect. Four beautiful, four gorgeous, four perfect windows now sat where the former junk had rotted.

You couldn’t believe how much bigger the space now felt. How much cleaner it looked. How incredible it felt to have all four windows open and experience the cool early morning breeze flow through the formerly stifled room. David pulled the two wooden chairs that normally sat in front of the south windows back in front of the big bay. “You ok over here now or….?”

“Oh no, now that the windows are in I feel safe again. I feel great honestly. Much better than when the old ones were in. I never trusted those things… felt like they were going to shatter and just fall right in or out… These feel secure.“

“Speaking of,” he said turning his back toward you, “Can you unlatch my fall gear?” The hook was attached to his harness on one end and on the other an old pipe in the corner of the room. You removed the metal hook and David unclipped the harness in the front, letting it drop to his feet.

“Are we celebrating this now or?”

“One step ahead of you…” David said ushering you over to your seat. He grabbed an upturned bucket and the thick amber glass ashtray with two large prerolled joints waiting for you. You picked one up and lit it. The smoke was carried out the window and out into the cool night air.

“This is huge,” you finally said, when the two of you were sitting, finally settled into your chairs and the comforting rhythm of each other’s exhalations. “These windows… the roof… this is just such a fucking amazing day.”

“Great way to end the first year, huh?”

“I’d say so… best part… no lift issues AND you even fixed the neighbor’s gutter. Great day. Great year.”

“Sure was.”

Outside there was a metal clink. The lift’s basket had been parked right next to the western windows. It was too late and the lift was far too loud to move into the driveway at this hour.

“Did you hear that?“ David wanted to know.

“I did. Sounds like something is hitting the lift.”

“I keep hearing it. You think that maybe some of those huge moths are flying into the lift rails trying to get to the light in here?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m going to turn off the light and maybe the moths won’t come near here anymore…”

Except that even after the light was turned off you both kept hearing an intermittent, “clink.” Soft enough not to go into full alarm mode, but loud enough to still find it unsettling.

It wouldn’t be until David tried to move the lift again in the morning that you’d both figure out what the sound had been… and the latest lift mishap.

But for now, the two of you sat in a darkened room, illuminated only by the light of the moon and the two joints that burned in the belfry room; a cool breeze sending shivers down your back. It was a perfect way to end a really big day… and nearly a year of work.

David doing a little bit of sweeping before we decided to call it a night. Notice the lift in the window on the right. The pipe behind the broom he’s holding is where he was secured to. The windows on the left are the ones with the high voltage power lines below them. Can’t get a lift in over there!

Sweep David, sweep!

David up on the lift the next morning. Oh and would ya look at that… some freaking delinquent put a sticker on the traffic sign. What kind of monster does something like that? These people walk amongst us. Awful.

Don’t they look lovely???

Well the lift is gone. And for that I’m thankful. What I’m not thankful for is that when the rain came pouring down on us this morning, the sanctuary ceiling is continuing to leak. It hasn’t even slowed. Nothing changed. Which means that the area David and I were SO sure had to be the problematic area… is in fact, not the problematic area.

I’m also really curious as to why when we dumped quite a bit of water up on the roof, nothing leaked in the sanctuary. But the much lighter rain? Leaking.

David did go into the attic. I really need to get over my fears and get in there too… I’m not going to just go flying off the beams… and then just go falling through the sanctuary’s ceiling. Worst case scenario even if I did fall up there… I’d just fuck up my arm again. Either way, not the point… the point is that the attic has still got an active leak… the roof… the roof has an active leak and I feel like being able to get in there and have a look for myself, see where the water is coming in from, might give me the idea we need to help, short of fronting a new roof… a solution.

Are we upset?

Yup. Though I guess upset is a stronger than necessary term.

Disappointed would be much more fitting.

Honestly we were just talking about ideas and how we may need to get the lift out here again… and that it’s starting to become a pretty expensive mistake… to keep getting this roof stuff wrong.

David thinks that the best idea moving forward, and I have to agree, would be to try and tackle this from the inside.

I’m so desperate at this point that I mentioned possibly disassembling the defunct chimney from above, next time the lift comes out, and then sealing up the chimney hole and shingling over it. David’s not quite there yet.

So he says that we should attempt the platform. Build the platform under the chimney in the attic, because currently there is nowhere to put a ladder and the attic is a good twenty feet tall at least, and he’s got to get to the roof of the attic to really get a look at things.

Which may be in actuality, while really fucking hard… and a bit scary… dragging building materials through a massive attic on a few beams, probably a lot less involved than disassembling a defunct chimney that we probably have no business disassembling.

I guess at some point, and this is the only thing that really has me questioning the fullproofness of the build a platform chimney plan, is that it looks like at some point someone tried to forgo the platform and the ladder on it, and just build a ladder on the attic’s wall. And that a bunch of the wrungs are snapped. Which makes someone creative like myself with terrible OCD, immediately picture someone on the makeshift ladder climbing up 20 feet into the air, falling as a bunch of rungs snap on their way down, desperate to catch themselves before falling onto the attic’s floor.

Lucky for me I now know that the hole in the sanctuary’s ceiling is way more water damage looking and way less resembling a human body that just fell off a broken ladder before plummeting through the attic’s ceiling, looking. So that’s good. We can rule out certain situations entirely.

Now that I think about it though… maybe the sanctuary ceiling caught them BEFORE years of water damage… well I guess not because the only way they’d know about the leak is if there was already the ceiling hole… right?

Maybe I’m devoting too much into this hypothitical. Maybe the ladder was a painstaking process to build and when the builder got to the top of the chimney they were so pissed that the problem wasn’t up there that…. That they smashed the rungs on their climb down. Totally plausible.

I mean here I am ready to disassemble a 131 year old chimney, what’s to say someone didn’t want to blow off some steam on a newly built ladder?

The point I guess in all of this is that the fucking sanctuary roof is still leaking and we are running out of options… outside of platforms and ladders and chimney tear downs.

So if you can do any better… think up some sort of more logical fix… at this point I’m all ears… like a corn cob on a stick, selling stand… minus the cheddar of course… because the lift took most of that.

The bin in the sanctuary. Very aesthetic of course…

The attic in question… just trying to see what David is seeing from the safety of the belfry bedroom…

Raining cats and dogs here today… And beginning to think that the shoddy roof job and gutter system might be worse than I gave it credit for.