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So We Bought An Old Church
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November 1st, 2026
“Oh… so you’re Vanessa…” he said, his eyes nervously darting side to side. “Yup. I sure am.” “I hate to meet the neighbors like this… under these circumstances… my roommate…” I cut him off interrupting him, “Yeah it really sucks to not be able to trust your neighbors… to have them steal from you…” I made sure to get that last bit in. I wasn’t mincing words at that point. “I mean my roommate… she ummm… they… I don’t have control over it…” “Well tell them we’d like our laundry
Vanessa LuhVek
4 days ago12 min read
October 25th, 2026
Friday sucked. Probably the worst day I can remember. Charles died and to make matters even worse, it was my fault. I’ve been racked with guilt ever since. He had a bad case of feather mites, I researched treatment and at this point I don’t know where I fucked up but the stuff killed him. It was pretty fucking terrible. I held him for eight hours while he slowly faded. The entire ordeal was traumatic for all of us and I shudder to think of how that felt for him. I was his sur
Vanessa LuhVek
Oct 257 min read
October 19th 2026
There are currently 41 eight foot long banquet tables sitting upstairs in the sanctuary along with the severed head remnants of a piñata; downstairs there is a pigeon named Charles Squab sitting in my lap. To say that the last two weeks have been wild would be an understatement. In that time I’ve learned that: If you’re going to make a four foot tall Plants vs Zombies Michael Jackson piñata for 20 kids to beat on… A) you’re going to want at least four pounds of candy and B) t
Vanessa LuhVek
Oct 1910 min read
October 3rd, 2026
The portico saga continues… And if you’ve been reading right along, that should come as no surprise to you. Came as a surprise to me. But apparently that’s because I have a college degree from not only Southern Connecticut State University, but also The School of Hard Knocks. That’s the place you go when you keep having to learn shit the hard way. That’s the place you go when you’ve been living in a massive church for 15 months and you’re still believing that every project yo
Vanessa LuhVek
Oct 58 min read
September 28th 2026
I wasn’t looking to redo the entire portico when I accidentally busted the handrail. I had figured that some new mums and a little bit of mulch would do the trick. Which in hindsight is pretty funny to assume that six mums and three bags of mulch would hide 30+ years of neglect… peeling paint, rotting wood, rust, a busted up looking builder’s grade door. Sure. Mums will totally fix that. Not only did they not fix it… they made the problems that much more apparent. They drew a
Vanessa LuhVek
Sep 2811 min read
September 17th 2026
Well that’s my fault. I skipped around a bit. Sometimes I do that. Who was it that said that time isn’t linear? That’s a physics thing right? Einstein? You know what? Doesn’t fucking matter. Just looked it up. It was Einstein. Space time-continuum shit. And I do that sometimes. I jumble dates or events… or I’ll think that something felt like it happened ages ago and it’s only been eight days… or that something just happened maybe two months ago and turns out it’s been five. C
Vanessa LuhVek
Sep 1712 min read
September 14th 2026
We walked hand in hand to the benefit. The weather was stunning. While fall comes fast in upstate New York, summer was doing its best to hang on. The late afternoon sun was warm on our bodies; the elongated shadows however from thick maple trees still densely foliated, old brick Sears catalog and once grand Victorian homes was chilly in contrast. About two blocks away we could begin to hear the music, a local band was playing popular songs from decades long gone. One of the b
Vanessa LuhVek
Sep 1411 min read
August 30th, 2026
I had assumed that when I saw the small square shaped wicker basket that I keep on the console table by the front door missing, and all of its contents piled into an untidy heap on the corner of the table that the kids had used it for their Nerf wars. They had been moving planter stands and chairs around the afternoon before; shooting at each other from in between upturned chair legs and through your iron planter. The chairs and the heavy iron planter were all put away. Not q
Vanessa LuhVek
Aug 3021 min read
August 22nd 2026
*DING! It was an unmistakeable sound. Which meant that when I heard it, I knowingly had to pretend that I hadn’t. Surely the bell hadn’t been intentionally rung… you thought (knowing damn well it had been). DING! DING! You had to laugh. It sure the fuck had been intentionally rung. ************************************************** Earlier that morning you had taken the bell. DING! DING! DING! “Savanah, please stop!” Your youn
Vanessa LuhVek
Aug 2310 min read
August 16th 2026
I slept pretty well. All things considered. “All things” being the bat desperately flying over my ‘head sock’ covered, sleeping body as both David and the cat fought to catch it first… and the ventriloquist dummy that may be actively plotting to kill me. “What’s that,” you say? “Oh yeah… there was another bat… and David woke me up trying to get it and… Huh? No not that?” “There’s a ventriloquist dummy that may be actively trying to kill you?” “Yeah… just another typical Thurs
Vanessa LuhVek
Aug 1613 min read
August 6th 2026
“No good deed goes unpunished…” Never did that ring more true than the time that David swerved to avoid the turtle on the side of a very busy main road after I screamed and pointed then blubbered some sort of nonsensical thing about said turtle on the side of the road. David managed to stop a good twenty five yards past the turtle. He put the car in park, hit the emergency blinkers, carefully checked to see if he was clear to hop out, then managed to dodge angry traffic that
Vanessa LuhVek
Aug 710 min read
July 30th 2026
I’m not really sure how I did it. The repairman made some comment about it being virtually impossible to break. Hold my beer. Not only did I break it, I snapped a chunk of metal clean right off. “These machines practically run themselves,” he chuckled. Do they, John? Do they really run themselves? Personally, I’d beg to differ… as would the mutilated Singer sewing machine I just dropped off at the local home design store. John told me that he comes by every Tuesday… sometimes
Vanessa LuhVek
Jul 306 min read
52) We Did It!*
“You know that sound we heard last night?” “That knocking that sounded like something was hitting the lift?” “Yup. You know what it was?” “Bats? Is there a pile of dead bats under the lift?” “No. That was the sound of the lift sinking into the ground and the basket getting wedged up against the church.” “You’re kidding me?!” “No. I just spent the last 30 minutes trying to get the basket off the window ledge. Had to take the window back out because the basket wouldn’t come dow
Vanessa LuhVek
Jul 2416 min read
51) Heavy Lifting*
“Can I show you something?” David wanted to know. You were sitting in your recliner, the little one that you had bought for your shoulder surgery recovery. The one that David wanted to know how you planned on getting upstairs. You had shrugged. “I hadn’t given that much thought… figured you’d figure it out…” And he had. He had carried it upstairs. “Sure, just give me a couple of minutes, ok?” You said. “Yup.” Quietly he closed the door behind him as he stepped back out of the
Vanessa LuhVek
Jul 1815 min read
50) Leverage Makes it Better*
“Yeah but… we don’t want to….” “And I hear your words, I do… but like it or not… this IS happening today…” “But it’s hot.” “You’re right. Which means that the sooner we start this shit, the sooner we can be done with it….” “UGHHHHHHHHHH….” They groaned in unison. You’re eldest was most opposed to the entire ordeal. He was leading the charge in the quickly escalating mutiny, your only hope: to quash it immediately. “Guys… come on… you finish this and you get 24 hours of unchec
Vanessa LuhVek
Jul 1010 min read
49) Practically Picasso*
“FUCK!” There was a flurry of commotion, a crashing, a metallic thud and more yelling… “Oh you son of a fucking bitch… I swear to god! Are you fucking with me??? You have to be fucking with me…” You thought about asking what was going on then decided better… Sometimes you were better off pretending that your acute sense of hearing wasn’t all that acute. There was a brief silence before the mechanical hum of the paint sprayer kicked back on and then a few minutes later, “You p
Vanessa LuhVek
Jul 29 min read
48) Quit Bugging Me*
There was a sudden flurry of activity… life that had gone unnoticed was now teeming in the rich soil, swarming upwards toward the light. “Oh fuck… You have got to be fucking kidding me… So frickin disgusting.” You quickly pulled the zippered mesh flap back over the raised indoor gardening bed doing your best to keep the gnats from flying out and into the wide expanse of the basement… possibly infesting all of your other plants. “Spent a damn fortune on soil only for it to be
Vanessa LuhVek
Jun 2616 min read
47) The Problem That Didn’t Need Solving and The Problem That Did*
You eyeballed the clock. You had ten more minutes until ‘go time’. Ever since the massive wave of bats took a nosedive into your chimney the night before, you had been waiting to film them. Surely they’d be back the following evening. At 8:30pm you and your daughter were outside positioning the tripod just so. You had to get a good shot of this. No one was ever going to truly believe you and honestly who could blame them?! You were just thankful that you had Beverly with you
Vanessa LuhVek
Jun 128 min read
46) The Endless List*
How strange it feels to have accomplished so much, ticked off so many boxes, completed so many projects, solved so many longstanding and complicated problems… knowing that you still have an eternity ahead of you. You used to say years. “Five year plan.” Can you imagine? HA! More like decades. More like a lifetime. There could be… there is… that much to do. A forever and then some. And somehow you find this... Daunting? You don’t think that would be a good descriptor. Daunting
Vanessa LuhVek
Jun 618 min read
45) The Fun Police*
”How come birthday parties are always two hours? Like 1-3 time?” Your daughter wanted to know. “I think that’s probably the human limit for what an adult can tolerate,” you answered. Your daughter seemed to contemplate that for a second then shook her head to show she understood. “You’ll see what I mean,” you added. She had gotten up early that morning and immediately changed into her party dress. She had you do up her hair nice and even asked for a little bit of makeup and a
Vanessa LuhVek
May 2916 min read
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